Hiding myself away

Night :)

I'm still awake at this time dear all, dunno what had happened to me, my head spinning round, heart beating, eyes castle in the air. Everybody goes to bed, but I am still here to draw my feeling over here. 

I just ended my August spending holiday with my family and started this September with kinda nervous. Nothing special happened in the first of September to me. I'm quite doubt to face this month which everybody called it with "September ceria", Is it real? 

I hate being like this, placed in this situation, waiting for something unreal, feel doubt to take chance and keep guessing. It's a fool thing I've did for these couple days. How I would like to share it here, to throw away all my unreal feelings, make decisions and take the risk. 

Well, sharing with some friends are quite helping me but it doesn't solve the things. Looked! I am still awake while the others are taking rest, and I am here, thinking for what I have to do tomorrow and the next two days and the next three days and 'till the end of September. Even time seems go so fast right now, but in this case, it seems dying..